if you’re looking for a steady blog you’re on the wrong side

Everything is changing. Internally i mean. Some things are new, some i had dismiss and went back at it again.

I no longer identify myself as gaulish polytheist. I don’t like labels anyhow.  Maybe religion is not  for me as i have thought for a long time but it’s ok, i appreciate my attempts at it. It is too limiting, apparently. Or i’m just too lazy or get easily overwhelmed? Sometimes i even wonder if all of this is helping me or not, because yes, stopping reading so many religious blogs made me feel better. So i don’t know. BUT never say never right?

So for now i’m reading things, like neoplatonism, hermeticism, and looking for a more natural and scientific side of paganism. It’s interesting and it all started with the book “Conversations with god” by Neale Donald Walsch that it may seem new age at first, but it was actually a refreshing reading.

To be honest, it didn’t really started with this book, i was thrifting away before encountering the book in the site Patheos recommend reading. This time i was way more careful though. Or should i say respectful? I wrote a letter to the gods and spirits explaining my situation and how i liked to explore new things now and wished them farewell accompanied by some offerings; afterwards i found that book and it was the cataclyst for my new explorations.

So it’s been like two months since i made any ritual (aside a esporadic meditation that i should do more because anxious mind), but at least i managed to celebrate one year round of gaulish festivals like i promised myself before i decided to stop.

I have no idea where this is going. You see, i’m still exploring and searching, so who knows? I may never fit into a religion or i may, or maybe i find some guidance in the neoplatonic philosophy i admire, or in a more natural path…

There’s this book i purchased recently and haven’t read yet that is called “Spirituality without structure” by Nimue Brown  that is exactly appropriate for what i’m going through. It says:

This is a book for people who have given up on formal religious systems, or want to, and are wondering where that leaves them.

So yeah. This is what i’m been up to.

 

Speaking as a biologist and a religious/spiritual person, i really like how this article intermingles science and religion. It’s very interesting to see a scientific theory being analised in comparison to these various cosmological themes in different myths throughout the word. I don’t see science inherently separated from religion. Quite the contrary. I think sometimes the poetic and veiled language of a myth can hide scientific truths. Or at least, is a possibility. Like LUCA and the begin of life in the myths.

Go read if you like:

Scientists Discover Life’s Common Ancestor, An Ancient Living Ocean

Guest Post – ‘Brigantia: Tribal Goddess by Sheena McGrath’

Guest Post – ‘Brigantia: Tribal Goddess by Sheena McGrath’

Dun Brython

The Brigantian federation stretched over most of northern England, and their queen, Cartimandua, is one of the few female rulers known to history. But the fame of their goddess, Brigantia, comes from a Roman statue.

Brigantia, Birrens 3AD, pinterest

Statue of Brigantia – Pinterest.

This sandstone image, with an inscription naming Amandus, an engineer, as the man who ordered it, stands about 90 cm high and 45 cm wide (36″ x 18″). It is now in the National Museum of Scotland, since it was found in Birrens. It once had traces of gilding, but that has worn away long ago. The base of the statue reads:

Brigantiae s(acrum) Amandus arc(h)itectus ex imperio imp(eratum) (fecit)

Sacred to Brigantia: Amandus, the engineer, by command fulfilled the order. (R.I.B. 2091)

While the statue was found in Scotland, it does not necessarily mean Brigantian territory reached that far north. When the Roman emperor

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a festival, a ritual and ponderations

Yesterday, i did a ritual of purification with the Matres. I’d say ‘for the Matres’ but it doesn’t really make sense because the ritual was for me. That’s why i’ll be doing another one this sunday with offerings for Them as thanks for the help. I have been waiting to do this for more than a month now… The image appeared in a meditation, of me dancing around a fire of purification, singing some verses to Them. The reality was far more calm. I did not dance and i did not have a fire, but i played flute and sang the gaulish verse Deo Mercurio made for the Matronae. It’d be nice if there was more like this for the other gods. I would definitely use them for rituals.
I lit a charcoal disc, it takes some minutes to be ready, so while i waited i played and sang. Then i proceeded to read the verses of purification and burn rosemary, sage and salt. I did all this 3x. Sing, play, read, burn… there’s power in repetitive words i think. I did not feel any strong presence but i think the ritual did afect me a little.

Today was for Taranis. It was my first formal celebration for Him and i literally sweated for this. The place where i do my rituals outside was cleaned like it hadn’t been for years maybe, i removed stuff that was there since when my father lived here (and there’s been years since then). Today i tried to make some cakes based on this recipe for Summanalia but they didn’t go well enough for me to offered them. I changed the recipe though😉 I tried some chocolate pancakes and that’s what i offered, acompanied with fresh cider. Very traditional as you can see *cough*

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Apple cider; chocolate pancake with cinnamon, cherry and yogurt.

It was also my first time using the format for a ritual the blog Dun Brython posted here, with some changes to fit me. I do not invoke Brigantia for the fire not Cernunnos as a gatekeeper. It was nice, but a ritual structure is something i still struggle with. I want something fluid, that makes sense and i haven’t really felt it yet. It doesn’t help that gaulish religion has no ritual structure that we know of. Perhaps, the closer i could get to the what the ancients did (at least in the Gallo-Roman period) would be using the same format as the roman ritual. But i’m not really comfortable with that.

I had this thought by the end of the celebration… for something that can take days preparing/thinking it went by fast, maybe idk 10/20 minutes and doesn’t even make me feel much by doing it. It wasn’t bad, by all means. It was it was but… idk.
I remember when i was little and christian being impressed by that mystical connection with God some people/saints had. That attracted me. Still does, in a different way. I read and researched. The fear of hell and the hypocrisy of the church made me run from the religion. I have no intention in returning. I’m far from a monotheist. Henotheist maybe, but that’s it. After that, a period of discovery, search, solitude followed. I think it may have not ended yet. Probably never will entirely.

 

 

 

back

I’m slowly coming back, that’s why i’ve refollowed some of you (sorry).
Stopping reading so many blogs was a very good decision, specially for my sleep. I’m a quiet person with a very busy brain.
Summer solstice was this sunday (20/06) and i was supposed to celebrate a festival for Taranis. I couldn’t and i haven’t celebrated it yet but i will once i have everything ready for it.

I’ll leave you with one of my recent sketches. Sometimes, words fail to describe what makes the soul sing and a image is a better medium. Other times, not even a image is enough. An ode to an old me. Dreaming of a desert in a far away land and egyptian gods.

an ode to an old me

*reference image*

This is not forever but…

I think i need a break from religion or at least, reading other people’s blogs. I’m a fairly quiet person and not envolved on online drama AT ALL, but I read too many things (plus an experience i had last year with possession that still gets on my nerves.). I’ve thought this many times for a looooong time but i’m finally doing it. I want to do it for at least a month. No religious blogs whatsover to see if it actually helps or not. I’ve unfollowed all religious blogs on tumblr, i don’t know if i’ll be doing that here or not. Just informing you. Take care*

 

For all the others days i do nothing…

Today in appreciation for earth’s day i decided to make a little ritual to Nantosuelta. Recited an hymn i had kept before and didn’t remember anymore but that was appropriate to what i wanted/was feeling. But first, i went to the backyard and gathered some flowers and herbs – camellias, rosemary (i love it), sage and others i don’t know the name but should.

I stayed there until the incense was finished and that gave me some room to talk to Her about things… My religion seems to be in stand-by, i’m thinking lately i’m not cut off for religion, or at least, only one, because i like many different things, different cultures inspire me… There’s this sense of expectations from the gods not met by me, almost like a missed opportunity. But anyway, the goddesses seem to be around still, Matres, Nantosuelta, and possibly Brigantia. Though she’s more british than gallic. And Sucellos too.

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Herbs and flowers; the two bottles have dirt from the backyard and ashes from the sacrificial hearth, incense, candle and libation of water.

Since i’m going to Fatima with my family and friends/neighbours on pilgrimage for the weekend (not for religious matters for me ofc, but i’ve always went there since i was a little girl and it can actually be fun) i decided to make a libation for Lugus and Rosmerta as protectors of travellers.

And that’s all.